I hate your face
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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