med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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