I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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