Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
