if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
