D3 body, D1 cock
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Randomize