so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
