I have demons in me.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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