Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
nutella sex= disaster
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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