so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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