sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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