i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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