This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
