YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Randomize
