I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Randomize
