dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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