God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
