i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
So much Jack, so little girl.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
