She is in my trunk
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
