i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
