She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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