plz talk dirty to me
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
