i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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