Ambien. No doubt about it.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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