they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
