CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
