The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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