wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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