yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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