too bad you live with your parents still
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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