i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Randomize
