so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
