what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
