I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
