my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
This is classic penis vs brain.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
