Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
