well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
