awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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