were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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