ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
