I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
