i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
