The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Sober January is a disaster.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
