Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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