so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
