i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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