Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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