Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
