if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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