sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
