He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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