these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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